Facing the Soprano: Uncovering a Feminist Performative “I” Through Autoethnography
This article unpacks three auto-narratives drawn from my embodied experiences journeying from soprano to researcher. A feminist theoretical performative “I” is created through the use of performative autoethnography, a position of situated knowledge and Judith Butler’s thinking of gender as performative. I explore the query: How is a singer’s feminist performative I created through autoethnography? By unpacking my lived experiences I establish a connection between the I and the context I live in, referred to as “the Other”. This connection then illuminates how my voice has been constructed and disciplined to that of a normative feminine soprano by attaining and repeating actions from the social-culture context of singing. I also leverage off Butler’s thinking and how it may foreclose the attention to the materiality of the body, and lean into a performative embodied, new perspective. Embracing both the soprano and researcher role I create a position that brings me into a “liminal space”. I do this to better understand the intersection of music education and gender, the becoming of a researcher, researching with the “inside out”, and to embrace the material body’s actual contribution in (to) the web of meanings in the sociocultural context of singing. By carving out a connection between being a soprano and moving into my researcher voice, I offer this article as an expanded way of knowing – a knowing through being. In turn, such insights offer epistemological and ontological ways of thinking for those experiencing similar encounters.