Loss, grief and loneliness

Loss is strongly present in early experience of loneliness. This may be bereavement, but it may also be an experience of parental divorce and separation, of moving into foster care. Sometimes a loss of a feeling of safety and good connection which is the result of violence is accompanied by a loneliness; and the stigma, shame and self-reproach which is associated with becoming a victim of violence is then multiplied in a further stigma associated with loneliness. Using examples of attempted suicide, the trauma of witnessing domestic violence and the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder experienced by a young refugee this chapter’s sub-themes are loss and grief; shame; and social isolation.

Being an outsider

Places that pride themselves on their sense of community and belonging can be very lonely places for those who do not fit in. These issues of inclusion/exclusion are illustrated in accounts of experience of growing up with a sense of being an outsider, including stories of growing up with a disability in a town where it is assumed you will not therefore be able to cope with mainstream schooling; growing up LGBT in an area with strong conservative religious views; being a foreigner in a segregated and low paid form of employment; trying to keep away from low level criminal activity in a neighbourhood where this has become the norm. These themes are explored in relation to segregation; stigma; racism; and the meaning of difference.

Youth work as method

This chapter considers the place of youth work projects, and of the importance of engagement, enjoyment, association and accompaniment in the life of neighbourhoods including those visited in the Loneliness Connects Us research. It highlights the work of the youth projects who were involved in the research study and the impact of the austerity on such projects. It suggests however that the commitment to ‘social action’ as a buzzword for youth work should be considered critically , as should medical models of loneliness which lend themselves to the suggestion that interventions by professionals such as social workers or youth workers are needed in order to fix the problem. Rather youth work is considered as part of a social infrastructure designed to facilitate informal learning, advocacy, mutual support and enlivening.

Transitions

This chapter considers specific ‘normative’ moments, including of education/work transition and what is involved in undergoing a change process in which there is a risk of loss of connection. Specifically it considers the change of schools from primary to secondary school; the sixth form; star and the experience of moving to a new town to go to University; starting work: common experiences were widely discussed during the research pointing to moments in which loneliness had been intensely felt. The experience of being left out of the system –for a variety of reasons – becoming classified as ‘NEET’- is also presented. The immersive theatre production ‘Missing’ was developed in response to this theme of an ordinary moment of transition and is introduced in this chapter.

Creativity and solidarity as method: the example of Missing and other stories

This chapter draws together the findings of the research through an analysis of the creative and collaborative methods which were used throughout the Loneliness Connects Us research project. The partnership between academic (including feminist) research, youth work and creative arts practice produced situated knowledges critical to the success of this project. The immersive theatre performance ‘Missing’ is presented in detail in this chapter, to show how collaboration and creativity were harnessed before during and after the performances. Shared interests and creativity; solitude, creativity and solidarity; relationality, friendship and solidarity, and their part in practices of both collaborative research creation and socio-cultural animation are explored.

The education system, aspiration and loneliness

The normalised pressures which the current education system places on young people, into their twenties and beyond, mean that the regular summer reporting on the exam results of particular cohorts of young people are followed by reports of an increasing incidence of mental health problems and suicidality. Beginning with young people’s discussions of aspiration during the research project,this chapter points to the fact that discussions of aspiration, achievement and failure of aspiration in educational research have not engaged with the emotional dynamic created especially for working class students leaving their families through educational mobility nor by the belief that ‘success is individual.’ The subheadings of Instrumentality and Achievement; Individualism; On (Not) Disappointing Parents and Unhappiness as Loneliness frame the discussion.

New ways for thinking and feeling loneliness

The final chapter concludes by suggesting ways to think and relate to loneliness beyond individualising accounts and in ways that account for social conditions. The chapter returns to the youth co-researchers agenda for youth loneliness and considers the research findings in relation to the themes of experiencing difference, re-imagining connection, and recognising the productivity of youth work practices and moving methods in researching youth loneliness. The findings are used to re-engage with the youth loneliness agenda in ways that push beyond the constraints of the neoliberalising commonsense. Instead, the case is made that responding to the challenge of youth loneliness requires enabling young people to encounter forms of radical democracy and once again re-imagining the potentials of friendship, mutuality, association and co-operation for young people today. Finally, the chapter concludes with a series of recommendations for things we can all do or not do to help young people navigate unwanted experiences of loneliness.